Wednesday, March 24, 2010

What I Learned Watching "Looney Toons"

I recently watched a marathon of "Looney Toons." The classic cartoon show of the 1940's-1960's. Telelvision sure has changed over the years, because I sure haven't learned any of these things while watching "Yo Gabba Gabba!"

-Animals talk, except for coyotes.
-It's perfectly ok to shoot a gun in one's face multiple times.
-The laws of gravity can be broken if one does not know that they have just walked off of a cliff.
-When women are ugly, they're depicted as knife-wielding witches. When they're beautiful, they're depicted as helpless creatures being chased by men.
-It's ethical to show "Pipe Tobacco" as an angel, and "Chew Tobacco" as the devil.
-It's ethical to show tobacco on a kid's show.
-Anything can be achieved through explosions.
-Coyotes are so near-sighted they don't even realize they've just ran off a cliff.
-ACME sure makes some interesting products.
-Racial stereotypes? Go for it!
-Martians are creepy as F*CK!!!
-It's okay to beat up mentally challenged people.
-Hunting is fun!
-If a child won't stop talking, go ahead and put alum on his face.
-Dying can be funny!
-Terrible puns bring ratings success.
-It's okay to laugh at pigs that have Parkinson's Disease.

Boy, have I been learning the wrong life-lessons!